• September 2020
    S M T W T F S
     12345
    6789101112
    13141516171819
    20212223242526
    27282930  
  • Categories

advice

My youngest daughter just asked if I’d promise to not get upset if she told me something that would help me. Then she told me that I should write about things that are more exciting. Because I’m boring and what I write about boring things. And more people would read what I write if it’s more interesting. And less B O R I N G.

She said the word boring about 15 times. Maybe I should show her how to use a thesaurus.

The little ray of sunshine is the opposite of boring, evidently. And people love to listen to her talk and laugh at everything she says. She thinks I should try to be more like her. She also said that she’s not conceited and that she is very funny. All the time.

Wow.

Nice of her to share, eh?

spicy

Spicy

J. (12 yr old daughter): When I’m all grown up and working in an office, I’m going to wear this dress to spice up my workers.

buying favor?

Ex-husband called the house yesterday to speak with the kids. He asked 13 yr old son to hand the phone to 14 yr old daughter at the end of the first phone call and she hung up the phone without speaking to him. She’s not spoken to him much for over a year because of some things that happened last March that added to the already strained relationship that was paved with broken promises and lies. Ex called back after she hung up to tell son that he won’t be buying 14 yr old daughter anything for camp since she won’t speak to him. Nice of him to send that message from one sibling to the other, huh? He has been telling son and 12 yr old daughter that he’ll buy them extra clothes and stuff for camp this summer.

Fourteen year old daughter told me last night that she doesn’t want him to buy her anything because what she needs from a dad cannot be bought. She said she needs a dad who spends time, who is interested, who cares, someone who knows parenting is not just about buying things.

I agree with her. Parenting is about a lot more than buying things.

confession

This morning I helped Mom and Dad move a truckload of mulch from the back of their pickup to the flowerbed. Mom and I got the mulch from the local recycling center for FREE. I have some here at my house to use in my flowerbeds, but need to get more. I only have about half of what I’ll need to finish it.

When we were cleaning out the truck bed after getting all the wood chips mulch out, I mentioned that Chrissie and I were planning to go to a movie in a couple of hours. Mom said, Oh, Sex and the City? I’d already told her of our plans. Then Dad said, What movie?

Here’s the confession part: I am 38 years old. I have 3 children and have been through a marriage and a divorce. I’m raising two teenagers and a tween. I’m proud of the lessons I’ve learned and who I’m turning out to be. I was mortified embarrassed to say the name of the movie in front of my dad because it has the word S-E-X in it.

I didn’t say it, so Mom did. Oh, from the tv show? Dad asked. Yes, I said, as I wished I could crawl under a rock.

What is that? Why in the world would I be embarrassed by that? I wasn’t standing there in front of my father talking about ME having sex, which would be awkward and a good reason for embarrassment, I believe. Good grief.

And another thing. . . the movie was really good. I do not know why I cried through almost the whole thing. Not sobbing or constant crying, nothing crazy like that. Just little moments of tears throughout the movie after the first 30 minutes or so. I think I may need antidepressants.

overheard

This could have been heard if you were near my desk today:

(it was not me, btw)

Oh my goodness! My nose is flaking off. I’m turning into Michael Jackson over here!

and

Did you see that orange sign in the breakroom? I thought it said

Auto Painless Hair Removal and had to do a double take!

🙂

Is there a wigmaker in the house?

I hope not!

The following conversation could have been overheard near my desk on Friday afternoon:

coworker: Natalie, the back of your hair would make a perfect wig. I was just sitting here thinking that I would wear a wig made from your hair.

me: Ummm… ok. Thanks, I think. (looking bewildered, I’m sure, as I have no poker face)

coworker: No, really, the way it waves and curls would be perfect. It’s really pretty.

me: Thanks. No one has ever said that my hair would make a good wig before. Who’d have thought?

A little scary, huh? Do you think I should be on the lookout for wigmakers, scalpers or scissor-armed coworkers? ha!

Here’s the wig hair after a day at the farmers market, natural foods store, Build-a-Bear and mowing:

I don’t get it. . .

conversation

When leaving the farmers market (or should it be farmers), youngest daughter was telling me about a movie they watched in science class about creation.  She said she didn’t understand the theory about asteroids hitting together to form a mass that later became earth.  I told her I don’t understand how most of the theories about creation could actually work out and create anything at all, much less things that actually live, grow, and reproduce.

Then she said, “Mom, does God have a mom?”

I said that I didn’t know.

She replied, “It would be really sad if he didn’t.  I am so glad you’re my mom.”

How sweet is that?

I love that kid.  🙂

morning question

Son:  Mom?  Were you born yet when Al Capone was alive?

Me:  Didn’t he die in the 1940’s?   How old am I?

Son:  I don’t know.  Uhmmm… I guess you couldn’t have been alive then, huh?

Me:  No, Grammie and Papa weren’t even born yet when he died.

Son:  Oh.  I just read a book about him.   Have you ever heard of the Valentine’s Day Massacre?

the shadow talker

A:  We need to go to shopping tomorrow.

B:                                                shopping tomorrow.

A:  I think we should.  I need milk, bread, eggs and a few other things.

B:                                                 milk, bread, eggs, other things.

A:  Yes, I think we should go.

B:                             yes.  we should.

Have you ever had a conversation like this?  Where the person you’re talking to repeats what you say just a split second after you say it – even before you’ve finished the sentence?  It sometimes makes me crazy.

I hope I don’t develop this habit.  I should probably go knock on wood or something now.

a conversation between co-workers

A: That man reminds me of Earl from Cornbread, Earl and Me. Have you ever seen that one?

B: No. I’ve heard of Me, Myself and Irene, but not the Cornbread one.

A: You should watch it. It’s a good movie.

I’ve not ever seen Cornbread, Earl and Me. Have you?

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

a hair-raising conversation

Co-worker: Did you do something different to your hair?

Me: No. I just didn’t fix it. I was in a hurry.

(I let it dry today with no gel, mouse, or any styling product at all. It’s curly.. with little ringlets around my face. Usually I blow dry it out straight or wear it curly with mousse or something in it in an attempt to control the curls.)

Co-worker: Well, you should do nothing more often. It looks good. I like it!

Me: (surprised) Thanks! Maybe I will.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

random conversation

A: This morning, I had to tell the child of mine to get out!
B: Out of the house? For good?
A: Yes! He needs to cut the unbiblical cord!

Yes, unbiblical. Evidently, instead of an umbilical cord, this child had a cord that’s not Biblical attaching him to his mother while in utero.
You read it here first.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

another conversation

between two of my co-workers yesterday…

A: Meatloaf is 56 today.

B: Oh yeah? Is the meat bad? I heard something about prices on ground beef dropping for some reason.

A: MEATLOAF. A human. It’s his birthday.

B: Oh.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

random conversation

Today a co-worker said,

“I think I need angry management classes!”

Yes, management classes that are angry.
You heard it here first.

Sidenote: I got my passport in the mail today! YIPPEE!!!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

overheard conversations

————————————–

A: Did you drive downtown for lunch?

B: Girl, you know I have a dead man’s handicapped sticker on my car! I’m not trying to park downtown.

A: Oh yeah.

————————————–

C: Where can I get a big chair like yours?

D: It’s one in the other room through there.

C: It is?

D: Yes, it’s one in there. I’ll show you.

—————————————