• June 2006
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Forgiveness

A few days ago, I got the July issue of Family Circle magazine in the mail. There’s an article in the health section about forgiveness. I’ve been mulling it over ever since I read it.

Several authors who have written books about forgiveness are quoted and the steps of forgiveness, as well as benefits of the act, are discussed.

Fred Luskin, Ph. D., co-founder and director of Stanford University’s Forgiveness Project talks about the steps of forgiveness. He says that first, we should be clear about why we’re hurt. Then identify your feelings (are you remorseful, angry, sad). Last, confide in someone that you trust.. someone who will listen without judgement.

Ways of healing are also discussed. Among those are (paraphrasing): let it go (take a break from the hurtful person), trade places (empathize), focus on the positive, have realistic expectations (let go of perfectionist ideals), be thankful for the good things in your life, and give it time.

I find it interesting that many of the things they discussed.. findings from the studies of the effects of forgiveness, health benefits, levels of happiness, how it’s more for the “forgiver” & not necessarily about the “forgiv-ee,” are things that I have found to be true in my own path to forgiving my ex-husband & putting the past behind & moving on with my life.

If you come across the magazine, it’s a good article. I recommend reading it.

The authors/books mentioned are:

The Power of Forgiveness by Everett Worthington, Ph. D.

Forgive for Good by Fred Luskin, Ph. D.

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph. D.

Forgiveness is a Choice by Dr. Enright

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