• July 2005
    S M T W T F S
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Today I’ve officially been a single parent

for 4 years. My divorce was final on July 11, 2001. I was awarded sole custody b/c MHP didn’t show up & request joint custody. The judge said that if he didn’t care enough to even show up that he was awarding me sole custody. I think it also has to do with the fact that MHP is in the military & travels around a lot, not sure. Anyway, MHP has picked up the kids for weekends/holidays a handful of times over the past 4 years. Sadly, he doesn’t choose to follow the visitation schedule, which is supposed to be the minimum time he sees the children.

For a long time, I felt that I needed to try to make him spend time with the kids. I’d call & ask him when he was going to pick them up, drive them to his home 1 1/2 hours away (& once to his new duty station 7 hours away). I used to fret constantly that the kids would be damaged without him caring enough to want to spend time with them.

Now, I know that I cannot change him. I cannot force him to spend time with them. I cannot force him to WANT to be around his children.

The kids have adjusted. They’re amazingly resilient. They’ve (sadly enough) learned to expect NOTHING from MHP.

Enough of that.  Back to today.

I feel kind of like a dork. All day long I thought I had been divorced for 5 years until I sat down to type it. I even told a good friend of mine & my mom that it’s been 5 years. Oops!

I’m choosing to believe that this is a good sign – that it doesn’t matter so much to me & that’s why I got the number of years mixed up. It’s definitely not a sign that I’m forgetful or a clue to my level of sanity! lol

Today I’ve officially been a single parent

for 4 years. My divorce was final on July 11, 2001. I was awarded sole custody b/c MHP didn’t show up & request joint custody. The judge said that if he didn’t care enough to even show up that he was awarding me sole custody. I think it also has to do with the fact that MHP is in the military & travels around a lot, not sure. Anyway, MHP has picked up the kids for weekends/holidays a handful of times over the past 4 years. Sadly, he doesn’t choose to follow the visitation schedule, which is supposed to be the minimum time he sees the children.

For a long time, I felt that I needed to try to make him spend time with the kids. I’d call & ask him when he was going to pick them up, drive them to his home 1 1/2 hours away (& once to his new duty station 7 hours away). I used to fret constantly that the kids would be damaged without him caring enough to want to spend time with them.

Now, I know that I cannot change him. I cannot force him to spend time with them. I cannot force him to WANT to be around his children.

The kids have adjusted. They’re amazingly resilient. They’ve (sadly enough) learned to expect NOTHING from MHP.

Enough of that.  Back to today.

I feel kind of like a dork. All day long I thought I had been divorced for 5 years until I sat down to type it. I even told a good friend of mine & my mom that it’s been 5 years. Oops!

I’m choosing to believe that this is a good sign – that it doesn’t matter so much to me & that’s why I got the number of years mixed up. It’s definitely not a sign that I’m forgetful or a clue to my level of sanity! lol

Last night my 10 yr old son asked me

if he can cut his eyelashes. A couple of little girls at the pool yesterday told him that his eyelashes are very long. They said that his eyelashes were longer than theirs were with mascara.

He got embarrassed & asked if he could clip them off. I said no & that he’d be glad they were long one day when girls were enamored by them. 🙂